Sometimes We Just Gotta Do It Scared
When Big Changes Come In Small Steps And We Choose To Take Them
In life, we’re often presented with choices—some small, some life-altering and each choice takes somewhere new. Sometimes, the choices we make lead us into uncharted territory, filled with challenges we've never faced before.
As I sit here typing this article, I find myself staring down of one of those life-altering decisions. It’s a choice that’s sure to bring its fair share of adversity, but the growth potential it offers is just too good to pass up.
So, what’s this big decision?
Well, if you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know that alongside being an amazing travel advisor, I also hold down a regular job. Recently, that job offered me an opportunity to move halfway across the country, and—after much deliberation—I accepted.
This move will take me from the sunny, almost always perfect weather of Southern California, where I was born and raised, to the Midwest—Minnesota, to be exact. Yep, the land of 10,000 lakes, humidity, and where the mosquito might as well be the state bird (lol, I kid, but not really—I got bit SO much during my week-long trip there earlier this year). It’s a place where all four seasons are in full force, and snow is part of the deal. By the way, I’m turning 34 this month, and I’ve still never seen snow. So, that’ll be an interesting experience!
Even though I actively pursued this opportunity, I’ll be honest—I got scared once I was selected. Born and raised in California, I’ve only ever known its sometimes outrageous laws, restrictions, and unique way of life. It still surprises me when I visit places where people smoke inside or just outside the buildings (shrug). Or when I don’t see a Tesla or seven at every stoplight. But, California is my home, and now I’m choosing to leave it.
On the suggestion of a friend, I picked up Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill, and to my surprise, it gave me the courage I needed to say “yes” to this big move. Despite being written many years ago, the book is filled with timely wisdom, and one phrase really resonated with me during this season of my life:
“Every adversity brings with it the seed of an equivalent advantage.” — Napoleon Hill, Outwitting the Devil: The Secret to Freedom and Success
When I read those words, something clicked. I realized that the adversities I’m likely to face—whether it’s experiencing the winter weather, adapting to a new living environment, or challenging myself in ways I’ve never been challenged before—each one carries with it the potential for new advantages that could serve me well in the future.
These words gave me the strength to accept the offer and push forward. Don’t get me wrong—I’m still scared. The idea that I might fail, that it might be difficult, and that things may not go as planned is real. But I’m ready to step up and try to seize the potential seeds of advantage awaiting me with this life-changing move.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: What does this have to do with solo travel?
A lot, actually.
Breaking Down Big Choices into Small Steps
Whether it’s a major life decision like moving across the country or deciding to take your first solo trip, big choices can feel overwhelming. The key to managing those feelings is to break the decision down into smaller, more manageable steps.
It can help to identify what’s causing the hesitation. What does your fear look like?
Identify the Fear: The first step is acknowledging what you’re afraid of. For me, it was the fear of leaving everything familiar behind. For you, it might be the fear of being alone in a new place or simply the fear of the unknown. Whatever it is, naming that fear gives you the power to address it head-on.
Once you know what’s causing your hesitation and give it a name you’re ready to combat it with knowledge!
Research and Preparation: Once you’ve identified the fear, start doing your homework. Just like I researched Minnesota’s climate, cost of living, and job market before making my decision, you should research your solo travel destination. Look into safety tips, cultural norms, and local attractions. The more you know, the less scary it becomes.
Use that knowledge to make actionable steps.
Small Steps Lead to Big Moves: Big decisions don’t have to happen all at once. For example, if you’re nervous about taking a solo trip, start small. Maybe begin with a weekend getaway close to home, then work your way up to a solo trip within the country. Finally, when you’re ready, take that international solo adventure you’ve been dreaming about. Each step builds confidence and makes the next one easier.
Dealing with Fear and Anxiety
Even with all the preparation in the world, fear and anxiety can still creep in. Here’s how I’ve learned to manage them:
Positive Affirmations and A Growth Mindset: Remember that quote from Napoleon Hill? That’s the kind of positive affirmation that can help shift your mindset. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, try focusing on the potential advantages—the personal growth, the new experiences, the confidence boost. Remind yourself that every adversity brings with it the seed of an equivalent advantage as Hill suggested.
Practice Self-Compassion: It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel anxious. What’s important is that you don’t let those feelings stop you. Be kind to yourself. Understand that stepping out of your comfort zone is hard, but it’s also where the magic happens.
Lean on Resources and Support: I turned to a book for guidance, but there are so many resources out there—whether it’s books, blogs like Solo Wanderess, or communities of like-minded travelers. Find your support system, whether it’s online or in person, and let them help support you through the tough moments.
Encouraging the First Step
The hardest part of any big decision—whether it’s moving across the country or taking a solo trip—is taking that first step. But trust me when I say it’s worth it. Doing it scared is better than not doing it at all because the rewards—personal growth, new experiences, and newfound confidence—are absolutely worth the discomfort.
The Power of Stepping Out
So, if you’ve been toying with the idea of taking a solo trip but have been too scared to take the plunge, consider this your sign.
Break it down into smaller steps, acknowledge your fears, and do it anyway. Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy, but it’s always rewarding. And who knows? You might just find that the adversity you face on your journey will bring with it the seeds of an equivalent advantage.
Just like I’m about to find out in Minnesota (I leave next month!).
Ready to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Explore the World?
If this article inspired you to take that first step toward solo travel, I'm here to help. As a seasoned solo travel advisor, I specialize in helping women like you plan unforgettable journeys.
Whether you're looking to start small with a weekend getaway or you're ready to tackle that dream international trip, I can guide you every step of the way—from choosing your destination to ensuring you have all the tips and resources you need to travel confidently.
Let's make your next adventure a reality. DM to schedule a complimentary consultation, and together we'll start planning the solo journey you've always wanted to take. Don't let fear hold you back—let's do it scared, together!
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