The Evolution Of The Solo Female Traveler
How I Evolved As A Solo Female Traveler. It's a little more Digimon than Pokemon in it's evolutionary direction
Each traveler's evolution is informed by a variety of different choices, available options, and, of course, their own personal risk tolerance and preferences. Today I’m going to share with you how I evolved from a travel hopeful in my early 20s to a confident traveler in my mid-20s and a full-fledged solo traveler and travel advisor in my 30s.
First things first, for my fellow anime nerds out there, my evolutionary path was definitely more in the way of Digimon than Pokémon. With each new travel experience, I became more confident, took on bigger travel risks, and traveled further to experience new things. But unlike Pokémon, where evolution is forever, I would find myself returning to my previous state while keeping all the knowledge I had learned, much like a Digimon. This was probably from my choice to return to my previous state, much like a Digimon, vs. choosing to forever evolve into something similar to a travel influencer or 100% full-time digital nomad.
For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s okay. Just know my progression from travel hopeful to travel advisor and confident solo traveler was not linear.
The Early Days of Mostly Dreaming
I have dreamed of travel since I was very young. By the time I was 20, I had been to Washington DC and Nevada—far from a world traveler and even less adventurous to change much of that outwardly. Though internally, I yearned for the images I’d see in my Spanish textbooks and world history books: grand old cities, stone fountains, different languages, and cultures all calling to be explored. But I was scared.
When I had asked to do a study abroad program in high school, my parents filled my head with all the horrors that could happen to you in a foreign country. Most of which I know now, while based in some reality, are more like something out of the movie Hostel than what would actually happen to you staying in a hostel. (How do I know? I’ve stayed in several hostels and all my organs and limbs are still where they should be.) But the fear they placed in me stayed in place well into my college years.
My heart yearned to see the world, but I was afraid, undereducated, filled with myths and fables not based in reality, and so afraid.
The Day He Left
Before you start the romcom music and made-for-TV movie monologue, know that while this individual was important to me, we were never like that. This man would have a profound impact on my life even long after we chose to take different paths in life. But the day he left, my whole world changed.
My best friend since we were 12 decided he was done living in the states. He sold all his stuff and booked a one-way flight to Asia to explore his roots or something like that. We kept in touch via Facebook, and over time, he found himself settling in Spain. The irony and destiny of it, since we met in Spanish 1 class in middle school.
Perhaps 2-3 years into his adventures abroad, he became homesick and confided in me about it. On a spur-of-the-moment decision, the words left my mouth, “Then I’ll come see you for Thanksgiving.” The words came out, spoken from an empty bank account and no plans at all to make that happen. He didn’t know that, and his excitement made me excited. I would be the second or third friend to come see him now that he was staying in Spain with some permanence.
Excited didn’t even begin to explain how I felt, though the dread crept in. All the stories I had heard about traveling to foreign countries. My Spanish, despite a decade of studying off and on, was still not good. (Note to this day, it’s still not good.) I was scared, terrified even, but he was expecting me, and I didn’t want to be rude.
Slowly, over a year, the trip was planned. The plane was booked, and I was being dropped off at the airport after my father had failed to persuade me traveling to Europe alone was a dangerous and bad idea.
I boarded that plane to England for a short layover with much trepidation and concern. But my friend was waiting for me, so it didn’t have to be that scary. It didn’t have to be that big. I was just going to a friend’s house. Sure, that friend lived across an ocean and would take 10+ hours to reach, but I was going to keep my word.
Getting on that plane opened me up to the entire world and proved to me traveling alone was okay. I was going to be okay.
We Can Go Together, It Doesn’t Have To Be Weird
Not long after I returned from my successful and life-changing trip to Spain, I knew I wanted to travel again. But where to go? What to see? The world was open to me now. Ten-hour flights were something I’d welcome vs. fear now. I had discovered wanderlust and would continue to seek it out now and forever. By this point, I was around 25 or 26.
My next opportunity would come from an interesting place. At that point in my life, I was working at a small company, and one of my coworkers there told me about a travel dream she’d had. This dream was to visit a place called Prince Edward Island. She described it as beautiful, with singing sand beaches and the home of Lucy Maud Montgomery. She had been planning this trip for a long time but was unsure about going by herself. I had looked at her blankly and said, “But where is it?” and she said, “Canada.”
Canada was a place I had longed to go. So I suggested we could go together. At this point, we were just coworkers. She accepted my idea with some hesitance, but what grew from that was a lifelong friendship. We are still travel buddies to this day, and PEI will always be our special first trip place!
Prince Edward Island was my first time experiencing Canada, which I still to this day call my Happy Place. Ireland is a close second. Together we traveled the small island, sampling lobster dinners and fresh seafood. She had to deal with me getting food poisoning (one too many oysters 😰) and, of course, all the Anne of Green Gables tours. It was the best girls' trip I had ever been on. It was also the first, and I would never change that for the world!
Traveling solo to meet a friend had shown me it was okay to go alone. Experiencing a destination with another person equally excited to be there opened my world up to the joy of dream trips.
The Call of the Wild Came From the Sea
I have been waiting to take a cruise since I missed out on the one family cruise my extended family did when I was a young child. But again, the well-meaning myths I had been taught to protect me came into play. Also, the movie Titanic didn’t do anyone any favors. I was afraid of something that, in the end, there was no reason to fear at all.
My top three reasons for being reluctant to go on a cruise ended up being completely unfounded or at least resolvable.
What if I get seasick?
Spoiler alert: I get seasick on docked boats, apparently 🤢. But guess what? They make this great medication that treats that, and I took it every day on the ship and experienced a cruise without a hint of discomfort, even when we hit rough seas one night.
What if the boat sinks?
Well, unlike the movie Titanic, today’s modern ships have the appropriate amount of life-preserving technology necessary in the event the boat does, in fact, go down. Within hours of being on the boat, long before you ever leave port, you are trained at your muster station on what to do in the event of a disaster on board, and things are very organized. It’s also worth noting that cruise ship-specific disasters at sea are very rare, and cruising is a very safe way to take a vacation.
What if I get bored or don’t want to do any of the “scheduled” activities?
So honestly, even though this is third on the list, I was extremely concerned about this. I had heard cruise ships have crazy itineraries with something to do just about every hour of the day. Honestly, on my cruise, I just wanted to eat, sleep, and relax. During the final days, I worked on my schoolwork because I was still in undergrad then and my first week's assignments would be due. Well, I’m happy to report you can do as much or as little of the planned activities as you choose. Modern cruising really is more of a choose-your-own-adventure kind of deal than a show-up-when-we-tell-you-to kind of deal.
So anyway, I had my major reservations about cruising, but to pour salt in the wound, I had tried to book a cruise previously and failed because I did not understand how to read the itineraries or which itineraries were better or worse than others. I had no concept of excursions or why things seemed to be so expensive. So despite putting in a deposit for an interior cabin (because it was the cheapest), I never actually finished paying for that trip nor stepped foot onto it.
It would be a whole three years later when I would stumble over to my travel advisor's desk, and she’d help me book the trip of a lifetime—the one if you’ve read any of my other articles, I always gush about. That two-week Alaskan life-changing cruise with Princess Cruises.
What made this cruise so special was the fact I would be going 100% alone. On purpose. Sure, there were several moments of doubt, but in the end, it was the right choice. My fear of being alone was very unfounded. I enjoyed the ship. I got to experience the vacation I wanted to have, one day at a time. I felt safe and secure and, most importantly, free. There’s something to be said about going on a cruise and discovering you don’t have to show up for dinner if you don’t want to, nor do you need to have long drawn-out conversations if you don’t feel like it. You can spend the day lounging in the hot tubs or wandering the ship. There are no expectations or commitments.
I realized through this cruise that travel was now and forever going to be a part of my life. And more importantly, it could be done solo, which unlocked so many future possibilities.
Traveling With Myself – The Personal Growth Through Travel Mission
So this brings us to the present, where I proudly identify as a solo female traveler and a travel advisor who helps others discover the joy of travel. I evolved from a scared young woman filled with myths and fear to someone who confidently explores new places and encourages others to do the same.
Traveling solo has taught me invaluable lessons about resilience, independence, and the beauty of experiencing the world at my own pace. I've learned to navigate foreign countries, connect with locals, and find joy in my own company. These experiences have not only made me a better traveler but also a more empathetic and knowledgeable travel advisor.
My mission is simple: to inspire and empower other women to embark on their own solo travel adventures. I want to help them overcome their fears, plan their trips, and discover the transformative power of travel.
Whether you're just starting or looking to take your travel experiences to the next level, remember that your journey is unique. It’s okay to feel scared or uncertain. It’s okay to start small. But most importantly, know that every step you take, every adventure you embark on, will shape you into a more confident and adventurous traveler.
Join me in this mission. Share your travel experiences, ask questions, and let’s inspire each other to explore the world. Together, we can explore the world at our own pace.
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If you have your own story about traveling alone or are interested in starting your own journey, I'd love to hear from you. Share your experiences or reach out for personalized travel advice. Let's connect and inspire each other to embrace the joy of solo travel!
Now I get why your newsletter title is what it is. You travel a lot, and you love it.
Some included pictures would be very nice though.
Anyway, thanks for sharing.
Love all your passion!